Cruel World
by Princess Lily
Summary: Hermione faces depression and low self esteem... PG13 for suicide theme


A/N: Warning: Suicide theme. I am writing this because I am depressed. Someone I knew committed suicide a couple days ago. If you can't handle it, don't read this.

Cruel World

"Hermione, I can't handle you right now! You are really starting to bug me."

"Shut up Hermione, I don't have to listen to you!"

"What's wrong Mudblood? Are you gonna cry?"

"Miss Granger, I do not recall asking you to show off. Hold your tongue!"

"God, Hermione, why don't you just leave everyone alone? Just go away!"

Hermione raced up the stairs, tears in her eyes. Her day had been a living hell, and Ron's comment was the icing on top of the cake of cruelty that was her life. As she tore into her dormitory, she caught a glance of herself in the full-length mirror that Parvati and Lavender had erected so they could spend their every spare moment admiring their beautiful selves. Hermione had no such hobby, having nothing pleasing to look at. Now, for once, she stopped to gaze into the mirror's crystalline depths. As always, she was disgusted with what she saw. Frizzy, bushy, ugly, mouse-brown hair. Lifeless light brown eyes. Though her front teeth were not still overlarge, through her eyes, her smile was crooked and false looking. She was fat. She was the ugliest person she knew. No guys wanted to go out with her, they all went for the skinny, pretty, ditzy girls. She often wished she was one of those instead of her own frizzy, bossy, bookworm self. Parvati and Lavender chose this moment to flounce in.

"Hey Lavender?" asked Parvati with a smirk in Hermione's direction. "You have a date with Seamus tonight, right?"

"Yeah," said Lavender, giggling, "He's taking me to that fancy restaurant in Hogsmeade. You know, the one where they call you Madam and Sir?"

"Ooh!" squealed Parvati, "That is so cool! Dean asked me to the Winter Ball next week with him. I'm thinking of wearing my brand new dress robes." She reached into the large wardrobe that the girls shared and pulled out a set of long, shimmering deep purple robes. Hermione knew that Parvati would look stunning in them. Lavender giggled again. 

"I'll go with Seamus, of course. Hey, Hermione," she said, rounding on Hermione, who was sitting on her bed, "Are you going to the ball with anyone?" Hermione looked at the floor.

__

I won't let them see me cry, I'll never let them see me cry.

"I didn't think so. Buh bye, loser." She and Parvati laughed cruelly. Hermione kept her gaze carefully focused on the floor as they swept out of the room. As soon as she was sure they were out of earshot, she flung herself onto her bed, sobbing. 

__

I hate myself! She thought, _Why do I have to be too smart and ugly? Everyone hates me. _She made up her mind in an instant. Shakily, she reached into her bedside table and retrieved a quill and scrap of parchment. Shakily, she scrawled a note.

Dear Everyone,

I know that I bother you all, and that you're sick of dealing with my brainy bossiness. I think you'd all be better off without me always messing things up. I'll never see any of you again. Goodbye forever, cruel world. 

- Hermione

She left the note lying on her pillow, which was stained with tears. Hands shaking, she pulled a letter opener out of her bedside drawer. 

"Goodbye." She whispered, before swiftly slitting both of her wrists with the sharp edge. Lying back on her bed, she stared at the ceiling as blood blossomed over her plain black robes.

__

In a few seconds, all of my problems will be over. Ron, you won't have to deal with my know-it-all-ness anymore. Everyone else, you won't have to look at my ugly self anymore. Goodbye. 

Her breathing grew slower and slower until her heart came to a stop.

Lavender walked into her dormitory to prepare for her date. She saw Hermione lying on her bed.

"Hey Granger, are you crying again?" she asked mockingly, "Oh, now you're too cool for me, eh?" She walked over to Hermione's bed, and saw the pale, limp form of Hermione lying there, not breathing. She screamed. What seemed like the whole of the Common Room came rushing in, Harry and Ron at the front.

"Hermione!" Harry gasped, rushing to her side. Ron looked as if he was in shock. Harry read the note out loud in a shaking voice. 

"She committed suicide," he whispered, scarcely daring to believe it. Ron shook his head and backed up.

"No," he whispered, "No, it's not possible. It's got to be a mistake." Professor McGonagall pushed her way to the front of the vast, crying group.

"What's going on here? Miss Brown, I- By the name of Godric Gryffindor, is that Miss Granger?" She turned to the nearest student, a second year.

"Run. Go get Madam Pomfrey, quick." The student sped off. A minute later, the school nurse pushed her way through the crowd. She rushed over to Hermione's side and took her pulse with shaking hands. She shook her head.

"I'm sorry, she's gone." 

Professor McGonagall bowed her head, the rest of the room following suit. 

"I wish we could have done something," said Ron unsteadily.

"Yeah, we never even realized that anything was wrong with Hermione," said Harry sadly, "We had no idea..." They looked around at the quietly sobbing crowd. Some people were crying, hugging or clutching each other, while others were simply standing in shock, not daring to believe that teasing had driven the brightest witch in their year to this drastic fate. All that Harry and Ron, her two best friends, could do was stand and stare at their friend's lifeless form, blaming themselves, wondering why they hadn't been there for her.

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone.

A/N: Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Hermione. She's actually one of my favorite characters in the books. 


End file.
